Pending Request

Facebook that is…

So, where to begin? Oh, so I’m on Fire Island this weekend and of course I run into random jdate douches and people I know. SOD, cannot go anywhere without knowing people…um ya…kinda annoying! 

Naturally, I get smacked BAM in the face…literally BAM is standing right in front of me the first night and first bar we go to….BAM BAM BAM…go back to Miami. Anyway, he’s been a major d-bag since we last hooked up, like even more than he was before. I actually used to think he was a nice guy. I think that shit is done and done. Mostly because I said, LOOK BAM…I’m pretty much over the BS. I’m at an age where I want to date someone and not just Pump n Dump for a lack of a better term and completing a $20 cab trip to HIS place on HIS time for what? An hour with him, only to feel like shit for weeks after committing such whore-itry! PAHLEEZ…no good. really!

Rando, SOD is beat night #2 on the island when she goes to Maguires bar at about oh approximately 2:30am. Cut the line bitches and no cover paid (just how I like my drinks too…FREE!!!!) Anyway, I’m buzzed off my ehh TWO vodka sodas…and walk outside to the back patio where Knightnshiningcharmer appears. He says to me “Wow you are beautiful! What’s your name?” HA! I think I literally laughed in his face:) OOOPS…then he says, no no seriously!  Can I get you a drink or do you want to dance or both? I was like hmmmm I’ll get a drink?! (though I was already buzzed enough!) He actually took my number and such and wanted to call it and then insisted on taking me a restaurant in the city this coming weekend. WE SHALL SEE! I basically played a huge tease it felt FCUKING AWESOME!

 

Guess who Facebook friended me today??? oh yes he did! Knightnshiningcharmer. After BlueEyes and that whole FB friend bs…I think you will just have to marinate like others do and take your number….PEND Request…

Respekt

I am not sure what it is that commands or does NOT command respect toward a woman. I guess I go back and forth on this…

Do certain women command it? Is there some rule? What gives a dude a reason to not treat a women properly? Like specifically, I think there’s a fine line between caring and respect! NO?!

I guess we sometimes ask to NOT be respected by the actions we take. I recognize we ”ask” for some things, but I guess, I’m kinda “over” BAM as a result of feeling lack thereof. I’ve tried to send a cute text and IM. (2) Things like 1) Cute “thinking of you” Text Wednesday (we hooked up last Sunday) 2)IM,  nothing huge just like how’s studying?  (today) Realizing he’s studying for (MBA)Finals…he can’t/hasn’t responded to either!  But then 10 minutes later today after sending that he logged off IM. Ironically, I’m then on fb and noticed his updated gay status message…like really. OH Ok, apparently you can inform a world of people who have no interest, but a GIRL inquires specifically and you can’t take 2 mins to respond…

Yah, I’m asking for it! But seriously, WTF! I need to remember this blog and feeling in 4 months after I try to ignore my feelings for him and he IM’s me again. SIGH!

Then there is this other guy…NEW guy…randoMpossibility. I think I ran into him literally this weekend…but this story will only be elaborated in future blogs if he responds to another fb message I sent him last week…stay tuned. Maybe he researched me and decided he didn’t want to pursue our fb chatter…do guys do that? Take time to research a girl based on connections and then decide if they will continue to converse? I sorta wonder in this digitally lame age….meeeeh.

Sorry this update is a bit randdddddddddddom. I guess I feel a bit poopy. I know I shouldn’t expect much more from BAM. Just like why do you hook up with a girl every 4 months if you are getting ass otherwise?!  Why stay in touch like that?  Weird!!!! Respekt people…what do I have to do to get it? Stop pursuing douches I guess…only trouble is that every guy I meet and hang with all seem to be douches!!!

I smell BAM…

I just read this article that really articulated my feelings toward BAM. It’s all about guys that want to “hang out.” BAM.

Here’s a little exerpt: Ambiguous boys don’t want to go on dates — they want to “hang out.” They don’t want to be labeled your boyfriend — or even the guy you’re seeing — but they want all the “perks” that are generally part of such an arrangement. I’m not talking about friends with benefits here — that’s a whole other animal. What I’m talking about is the frustrating purgatorial gap between friend and boyfriend. -Judy McGuire CNN.com

She continues with this story:

Jeff, a 28-year-old bartender I spoke with had another take. Claiming he hasn’t had a “date” since his high school prom (though he’s had plenty of girlfriends), Jeff’s theory is that “ladies love to talk and communicate things and guys by nature do not want commitment. So the longer you ignore labeling it, the longer you are in the clear to see other girls without the guilt or remorse of feeling like a dirtbag.”

Seriously…great!

Like, I don’t get how you know someone four years and you hook up every so often, they know your intentions, do they never expect you to confront them?! Like um riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Soemthing’s gonna happen. AND let’s just say I donno if the outcome will be favorable!

Things that make you go hmmm

So, I guess I’m guilty, booty guilty. Yikes! It’s been since, geeesh December that I’ve seen BienvenidosaMiami. Mostly because he was a bad bad dude to me last time I saw him, though he immediately knew he had treated me disrespectfully so I have slowly forgiven him in my mind, since he apologized without me even scolding. He had had me come “hang” for an hour and then basically let me kick myself out…ya, basically, BAM!

In March, he was like what are you up to, we should hang out sometime!…gave me that I’m around sort of comment over IM of course. I got busy and I guess forgot, not typical SOD:P Then last Sunday, BAM IM’d me and it was that awkward convo I discussed. So fast forward to this weekend. I was thinking to myself, you know I kinda miss his face, SOD, let’s see if he will chill tonight.

Last night, Sunday, I texted him around 7pm being like “hey stud! Do you have any free chill time tonight?” He writes back “I’m not sure yet, potentially” HA…well of course his fave basketball team was playing so go figure he was busy!  (SOD knows about ESPN.com and does check it!) So, Cheerleader SOD has a cheer for that one “BOOOOOOOOO!”

Well, naturally the evening rolls around and he IM’s in typical BAM fashion and I end up over at his place. Long story short, I practically peed in my pants in front of him, amongst other things. We are on his bed watching basketball and he’s telling me he’s going to Miami in a month! Cool beans…then I say “awesome, I wish I could just go to Miami, you are lucky to be from there” BAM says “Yes, Bienvenidos a Miami!”  Insert: SOD peeing in her pants 

LMAO!!!  He could not understand why I was laughing so hard…I’m like oy! so sorry…he musta thought I was a freak! HAHAHAHA, BAM is BienvenidosaMiami…

Anyway, it was nice to see him, though he pulled the yawning bs and I gave myself the boot as per usual. Do you think he would want to date me at some point? I just don’t get why after 4 years of knowing eachother 3 of which we have had a level of intimacy and 1 of which we have had a LEVEL of intimacy he’d just randomly every 3-6 months hang like that? Then again, I’m no guy…as he says “Just don’t think too hard or analyze things…” OKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Bienvenidos a Miami!

Takes time to love…

First Sunday in a WHILE, BienvenidosaMiami IM’d me…from 10-1130 pm, we just shot the shit…on the computer. And honestly, I feel like shit for shooting shit. It was more or less like “hey SOD whats up, come “hang” with me” …ya follow me here? Well, it just progressed into the lamest confusing convo ever.  Eventually, I more or less said that I don’t want to tolerate shit, that I’d legitimately assuming paths were in the same direction like to date someone…

Well 11:30pm rolled around and “I put him to bed” on the computer. Why couldn’t he just say “come over”…he did in so many ways….maybe it was my way of putting him off and subconsciously saying I don’t want to just come by!!!  He said “don’t analyze” so much…and I said “I’m a woman, that’s what we all do!”  It’s so true though. Anyway, again, it’s always on his time. Like a good test I think would be for me to say to him in a day or two…hey want to hang out? BS!  meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. He’s a really good guy at heart, totally hot and a great catch, but I also don’t believe anymore in letting an egg sit in one basket…especially on Easter, the more eggs the merrier these days.

There’s just something about BienvenidosaMiami that intrigues me at this point. He must have some level of attraction to me…no? Maybe I’m analyzing too much, maybe he gives two craps. But why does he always mysteriously come back and why is he always respectful of me/knows when he’s not being cool. Oh SOD, what the hell…why do you feel so shitty about yourself that you even think twice about this kind of stuff. I guess I sort of still really like him, but what’s that supposed to mean. He’s not dating right now seriously that I know of and now that I just totally spilled my beans about my interest in being legit with someone at some point sooner rather than later, I wonder if he will disappear forever or just knowing that mysteriously keep appearing…

Disrespect yourself and others will too…

It really will have to come from deep within. It’s true when you feel hot, others think you are too…it’s like this scent you let out. Think, Looney Tunes, the skunk that female one…what’s her name? She lets off a smell that that guy skunk is attracted too?! You know who I’m talking about? Shit, what’s her name? Well it’s true, I gotta let off that scent, presuming I can gain some confidence?!
Anyway, got to thinking about men in life (ahhh nostalgia) as one of my girlfriends had her Bachelorette party this weekend (NOTE: friends reading this NEVER EVER EVER, I mean ever get me a male stripper, if I’m so blessed as to have a Bach Party…grossssssssssssss blech) the guys flaunting around us at the bars got me to thinking about the skunk, whatever her name is…About the subject of this post.

Furthermore, explicitly because I was going to try to IM with BienvenidosaMiami this weekend. He’s been in my life for sometime. But then I realized how f-d up I got when I hooked up with BAM in December. He totally used me…$20 roundtrip to his hole in the wall and it was a straight up Pump ‘n Dump…or as my brother calls it “PnD” BLACH! He knew it was wrong and acknowledged it—tre cooolio!

Anyway, wondering why I would reach out to him? He disrespected and he knew it. So why would I try to contact him straightforward again?! Remind me…Guess I need a new scent? And furthermore, no need for BAM, or should we say AdiosaMiami?